Flying Dog Brewery – Tire Bite Golden Ale

After the Gonzo, anything with Flying Dog's name on it is something to get excited about.

Nose: Smells like a lager, not an ale...Getting less excited...

Taste: A hopped lager. Starts out really well..Crisp, clean and nice. Then you swallow and it's jsut not good. It's like a draft beer.

Around here, 1516 is the tap beer of choice, not cause it's good, but because it's the least shitty, and draft beer is cheap. This is a small improvement. Also, it's $18 motherfucking dollars.

If you have a pedigree dog, and the neighbours mutt got in your yard and railed the shit out of your little precious, this is what those puppies would be, and even you would still try to sell these little shit breed puppies as something fancy, wouldn't you??

and the heads shitty on it too...

Jake – 5/10 – 5 for the price, would have been 7 if it was like $12.

Gary – 3/10 – Mostly cause of the price and pretentious packaging. Where's the bite??

Two Shoes – 4/10 – Well...glad we could share, 6 of these wouldn't be fun at all...

Nelson Brewing Company – Paddywack IPA

Another IPA!!! Hurrah!!! Are you excited?? Do you think this is the other fabled 10/10 we hinted about earlier?? Do you?!? Wanna find out?? Then stop pissing around!

Organic beer hey??? Wait...Aren't most craft beers organic??

Starting with the nose, cause that's how we roll around here...Gingerbread, clove, and 'Vegimite'. Also, dirt.

Flavour – and here our lovely review format falls to shit. Gary drops an 'Oh No' and a cranky face on us before we sip ours, now we're jaded...but Gary is right of course...you get a bitter bit, gingerbread/black licorice...there's a sweet hops in the aftertaste, and that's the highlight.

It kind of sets you up well, but then Mr. Flavour just sort of fucks off somewhere for a bit until you swallow, and then there's mild hops.

Seems like a good candidate for a chug-ability test hey?? No, no it is not. Fuck you.

Scores:

Gary – No/10 This isn't an IPA. This isn't forgettable either, this is straight up dumpable.

Two Shoes – 6.5/10 – I don't care about label's much, and once you're past the 'I didn't expect this' stage there's something here to experience

Burpie – 5.5/10 – A good beginner beer for craft brewing.

Jake – 3/10 – Disappointed in the IPA label

Honestly, a lot of great beers are all about organically grown ingredients. They say a little something on the label and they're done with it after that. Look at the purity laws for German beers. That's pretty standard...this seems like a marketing ploy to grab the granola eaters. Wouldn't a better marketing ploy have something to do with making good beer and not putting the wrong label on it??

Anyway, this is obviously not the contender we are hinting about. Not even close...

Tree Brewing Company – Hop Head Double IPA

Ok, here we go. We're not going to lie, we've had this before, we know what score it's going to get..

Let's get the basics down here first though...

This is what awesome looks like.

8.3% (Woot!!)

Colour: Copper. Foggy. Foggy is good, this seems to be key to a stellar IPA. Pay attention people, this is some science shit going on here.

Nose: 'Yup...Wow...I want this inside me' That's what your gonna think. It smells like hops obviously, but there's so much more going on here. It's a near perfect blend of hoppy goodnes, that really demands on the first sniff that you sip. This is a good thing.

Taste: So it goes like this. You sip, and you are treated to a creamy hops all the way from the front of your tongue to the back. An awesome hop flavour with no citrus notes at all until the swallow, where there is a crisp finish.

The trick here seems to be the creaminess. This is a sort of darker IPA, and we think there are some creamy malts going on here that are working as a delivery agent for the hops. There's no blast to the mouth, no bitter beer face, but there is a fuckton of flavour here. While it's not a kick to the head, it's not, not a kick to the head either.

The nose of this one, while amazingly hoppy, is not even close to the flavour, which is amazingly hoppy. Not making sense?? GO TRY ONE!!! You'll know what we mean then, but go quickly, cause this is a limited edition and it's going fast.

By going fast I mean there are maybe ten of us in this town buying it up. That might not sound like you should rush at all, but I'm telling you, shut your god damn face and get yourself one before we drink it all and laugh at your sadness when you can't find any. Which we will do...we're kind of assholes...

Two Shoes – 10/10 – One of those beers your upset about running out of

Jake – 10/10 – Touche, Tree Brewing...Touche

As a teaser for you guys, there is another 10/10 IPA review coming...and then we make them fight each other in little cups like you used to do with spiders... cause you're such a terrible person...

Yukon Brewering Company – Ice Fog IPA

Maybe this is a good time to come clean here. We love hops. Like fucking love it.

Pictured: Not a lot of hops

Nose: Not that stellar. Basically a lager with a bit of bitter hops

Colour of straw. Pretty nice I guess.

Flavour: Fairly straight forward. A citrus flows into bitter and finishes with a very mild dry hop. There's something unique here, but it's hard to place. Guess you'll have to go try one hey?

Two Shoes – 7/10 – On the IPA scale this is weak, but as a general cup of beer it comes off as good

Jake – 6/10 – Great beer but I had expectations for a good hop and was let down. Still a great beer though

Granville Island Brewing – Gastown Amber Ale

Hmmm...Granville....

Not to sound bias or anything, but Granville pretty much rocks.

Scent – Not that fond of it. Not hops, not malts...

          Bottle – Sour malt...not that pleasant

          Glass – Sour increases, malt mellows out

Colour – It's called Gastowm Amber Ale... figure it out.

Taste – Little bit of hops, kind of feels like a wheat beer, but sweeter. Not a bad thing at all. It's a hard flavour to pinpoint in words...The malts comes at the beginning, not the end, which is kind of nice.

Strange thing...it reminds me of blueberries. Not like awesome pie or anything, I mean...it's beer, which is awesome, like pie, but the blueberry thing I'm trying to get across here is that this reminds me of those 'fresh wild blueberries' that you really shouldn't be eating cause they grow beside the highway...

Ya ok...I'm done sharing now...let's get back to this review thing shall we?

After – Not much. In and out. Nice, and then it's done.

Chug factor – Carbonation is high, you get less flavour if you chug, just that burnt bubbly thing that happens when you chug things like this.

Jake – 9/10 – I love Granville Beer

Two Shoe's – 8/10 – Good. Close to very good. I'd drink this all night for sure

Okanagan Springs – 1516 Bavarian Lager

Please keep in mind we're not that big on lagers.

Here it is overlooking some...What is going on here?? Fucking Google...see, this is why we take our own photo's. Is that fucking baseball those people are playing?? Why else is the stadium empty??

Scent – Lager – A sweet lager scent. Nothing new. You don't jump out of your shoes and scream about it.

OK Springs is gung-ho on simplicity really...

K, so there's not a lit of witty shit to say here. It's a great clean lager. No bells and whistles, just good beer.

This is what we drink at the pub...ok this is what we drink when we've already drank all their Guinness. It tastes a lot different on tap than out of the bottle, but it's still one of the best beers on tap...Mind you it's not competing with much...

Two Shoe's – 6/10 – It's good. Solid 6 for being ok on tap.

Jake – 5.5/10 – It's good...but it's a lager

Okanagan Springs – Brewmaster's Black Lager

Well, where to start?? The pour I guess hey?? Sounds good.

Bigger??

Head. Creamy off white. The pic looks white, but that's cause the liquid is fucking black. Makes a nice contrast hey?

Held to the light, it's a dark purple. Light barely gets through it for you to see that though, and why are you holding to the light like that?? You gonna take some pic's of it too?

Nose: Not a whole not more than a normal lager.

Flavour: In the mouth it's a little underwhelming. Lots of bubbles on your tongue, and that's about it until you swallow (this is cold of course, warm it up and you get some of the swallow flavour early).

Swallow and finish: Here's where this beer comes alive. You get hit with a very good blend of malt and hops, your teased with the finish, but first a shot of creamy goodness, then the finish arrives. And what is this finish?? Mocha. Motherfucking Mocha.

Jake – 9/10 – Fucking Eh! I'm not sure why it's not a 10, but fuck, 10 seems high

Two Shoe's – 9/10 – This is wicked, try it.

Phillips Brewing Company – Phillips Skookum Cascadian Brown Ale

Cool label, not too pricey. Off to a good start.

Nose: Nutty Hops. Nuts are rad, hops are super dope. This is a cool smell.

The Pour: So we don't get a cascade like a Guinness, but we get a thick and creamy looking beer. Huge fucking head that lasts forever too.

Taste: Hmm...Like a nut brown...sort of. In your mouth, not so much flavour. Something like...I dunno...earthy?? Nutskin?? (not like that you creep) Sounds a little disappointing, but sometimes a great beer keeps the major flavour for an aftertaste.

After: The flavour is here, this is one of those beers :) Dry hops rolls down the back of your tongue. It's strong, but not unpleasant. Provided you like hops of course (You must be catching on to a bit of trend here by now hey?

So we tried something different here. We think this might be good warm, so we went for a smoke and left this sitting on the table.

Warm: The flavour hits your tongue pre-swallow, an earthy nutty flavour that bubbles away and leads to the finish early...almost perfectly.

Warm After: Sort of a sour bitter that fades to a hoppy finish. The final bubbles provide this coca-cola teaser before the hops.

All around pretty damn good. Not nearly as heavy as expected for a thick creamy beer.

6.5% doesn't hurt either.

Jake – 8/10 – Nothing new, but well done at what it does

Two Shoes – 7.5/10 – Hoppy Malt = Happy Malt...I don't know, this was funnier at the time...maybe you had to be there??

Yukon Brewing Company – Lead Dog Ale

Starting off with a Stoli...Yup. Fuck you.

...

...

...

Ok now we're good to go.

Colour: Dark, Black. Looks purple when held to the light.

Head: Light brown. Tan head. It's hard to get though, that photo above is the result of a pretty aggressive pour

Nose: Hops, Black licorice, hops.

Taste: Thick and luxcurious. Molases, licorice, hops. There's a malty creaminess not unlike that of Granville Isle's beers. After you swallow the hops engulfs your mouth, leaving a bitter on the end.

After: If you can wait without sipping again right away, there is a lingering hops.

Yukon – Masters of the aftertaste.

Wanna hear something interesting? A sixer of this is 20 cents more than a sixer of Bud. That's kind of a big deal cause Bud tastes terrible and now it's not even cheap. So why are you drinking it? Right, cause this is too much for you...

...Fuck... I hate you so hard right now...

Anyways, on with the review!

Jake – 8/10 – Gonzo-esque. Just dope man.

Two Shoes – 8/10 – Yup, this is great stuff

Rolland – 9/10 – Not so strong...well... it's there, and it's very smooth.

Yukon Brewing Company - Yukon Red

Nose: Hops and malt. Kind of a sweet malt.

Taste: Malty hops. Doesn't sound that special, but it's really well done. Dry, but does not leave you with a pasty feeling mouth afterwards. It's really a pretty perfect blend of hops and malts. Like Reeses Pieces are a perfect blend of chocolate and peanut butter. It just tastes right.

 We take far to many photo's of beer...

Colour: Ya, it's red.

Very red.

Very chuggable, but it's flavour doesn't intensify really. There's a malty creaminess that shows up, but it's not really worth the chug.

It's just fucking good.

Jake – 9/10 – Wicked Bad

Two Shoes – 8.5/10 – Good Good Good.

Midnight Sun Espresso Stout - Yukon Brewing Company

6.2%...Just putting that out there...

So, lets get down to business. There is a coffee company in the Yukon (Midnight Sun Coffee Roasters) and a brewery (see the title) and they had a fun idea one day and combined forces to make something crazy. This is it.

Let's start with the nose: Molasses....That's...that's all we wrote down...note to self, hire a trained scribe monkey

Colour: Obsidian. It sucks light into it, Nothing gets thru it.

Taste: Slight coffee with a hop to it.

After – Fucking explodes with coffee and hops.

After After: Bitter coffee beer

Not a very heavy beer, despite the colour. The hops is different too, it's not dry, you have the hop experience, but your mouth is still moist feeling

As we go along, the coffee 'explosion' lessons. It's still there, just less. Not to worry, the beer picks up some of the slack. It's saying “Hey, I'm still cool” and it really is.

It turns into a headless black liquid, but the carbonation remains. You can't see any bubbles (due to the impenetrable blackness) but you can still taste/feel them.

**Please note that at this point the notes sort of start to fall apart and there are far more cock doodles than is typical...**

Jake – 9/10 – Good Jazz. Enjoyable all around. The last sip is a little mild, but it was good

Two Shoes – 9/10 – You like coffee, you like beer? You'll like this.

Rolland – 8/10 – If you like coffee...very coffee-ish

One Nut Joe – 2/10 – I don't know about this...left over Timmies after 3 days...

The KPF Ninja – Ughhhh!!/10 – Ughhhhh!!!

And then it seems like 5 grown adults starting talking about jammy pants to a degree that we have notes on it...

Really...

Why do these things even get written down??

Stoli

Pictured: A Debaucherious Night



Russian Vodka

Pretty much burns everything out of your mouth. We use it to help cleanse the pallet. Also, to get drunk. It works well for that too.

Jake – Yummy/10

Two Shoes – Full on fucking Sprinkler/10

Ya...we have problems hey??

Old Speckled Hen - English Fine Ale

“A distinctive rich malty taste, bursting with character, fruity aroma & deliciously smooth”

A pretty strong boast for a label. How's it stand up??

malty taste...yep, starts with a nice malt

Fruity aroma...Check

Smooth...yes very

Also, a bit of a bitter undertone

And wait, what's this, a nice dry hop too!

This is pretty damn good.

So, what we have here is a creamy beer, even when the head is gone. You've got fruit gently tickling at your tongue as you swallow, and are left with a dry hoppish finish

For something that's under $10 for 4 tall cans (in the air) this is pretty stellar.

Even Burpie,, who hates canned beers is ok with drinking this.

Jake – 8/10 – gets a high score for it's 'Value' (the under $10 thing)

Two Shoes – 8/10 – Does not taste like an old speckled hen...well ok maybe it does I have no idea what an old speckled hen tastes like.

Burpie – 7/10 – Pretty much undrinkable when it gets warm...but it's drinkable enough while cold you should finish it before it gets nasty..