Phillips Brewing Company – Dr. Funk Dunkel

Not sure what kind of Dr. is on the bottle, but he does look like he has some drugs to sell..or sex...

Colour: Ruby Red when held to the light.

Nose: Sour malty. Light on the sour. Dark spice hints teasing you too.

Flavour: Crisp and smooth, with a creamy feel in your mouth. There's a sweetness to the malts that is consistent throughout the whole glass.

Finish: Mild hops. Really smooth transition form the creamy malts to the hops.

A pretty damn filling beer. It's not a thick beer, but it feels gooey in your belly. We tried chugging it, cause we do that from time to time, and this pretty much jsut punches down into your belly and makes you feel stupid, cause there was no additional flavour.

It sounds weird, but we were calling this the Adult Coco-Cola by the end.

Jake – 8/10 – My first Dunkel!!

Two Shoes – 7.5/10 – Very good, a little filling, but an excellent sipping beer.

Phillips Brewing Company – Hop Circle IPA

Another IPA...like your not used to this by now hey??

Anything with Hops in it seems to get a bunch of pictures taken of it...

Nose: Oh ya, this is starting good.

Colour: Not very dark, very clear

Taste: Very very dry...very...wow...

This is a hoppy beer with no bells or whistles. No citrus, no nothing. Just straight up hops.

Not a lot to say. Hoppy, flavourful (the flavour is hops) it's a little skunky, but if you like hops (and you know we do) you'll dig this.

Jake – 7.5/10 – Bottom line, this is a beer with hops

Two Shoes – 8/10 – This is rad, hops and gnar. No fucking around.

Phillips Brewing Company – Blue Buck Ale

Colour:Awesome looking beer. Clean and clear

Nose: A good yeasty hops. Smell is here, setting up a good time.

Taste: Hmmm...The hops and malts are not working together here. You have a hops in your mouth, but the swallow and finish are mellowed by the malt and the delivery is weak overall.

A strong flavour that is really bland and plain...We're just not picking up on the groove their putting down here. It's a heavy beer too...Not an epic fail but it's not wow either.

...Gives you pasties...

Jake – 5/10 – Kind of balances out to nothing. I'm not knocking it, but the pasties are saying 4/10 right now...

Two Shoes – 5.5/10 – It's weird, the two flavours are rad, but together kind of make me think of feet...It's got flavour though, and even if it's a little undirected, it's still better than Bud...Yes, that means feet is a better flavour than Bud.

Dr. Awesome - 8/10 - Well fuck you guys then, I'll drink it all.

Cannery Brewing – Maple Stout

Did you read that up there?? A fucking Maple Stout!!

Maple!!!!!

Nose: maple syrup and yeast. Bread. It's like smelling french toast in a bottle.

Colour: As close as brown can get to black

Flavour: A great stout with a pure maple syrup flavour at the end of your tongue. Simple, but not really.

Two Shoes – 9/10 – I'd drink this for breakfast.

Jake – 6/10 – Fantastic in small doses, but a little too rich.

One Nut Joe -8/10 – My horse cock is tingling

Roland – 6/10 – Just a little too much...

So this one was a little short, seems like we ran out of room on this sheet as Mr. Horse Cock up there wanted to draw us an artist conception of what looks like a juicy hamburger and some sort of rocket ship??

Driftwood Brewery – Farm Hand Saison

It says ale, but it's a saison style, which means way more fucking flavour than an ale

Colour: Gold, clear, clean.

Nose: Dried fruit and yeast. Figs

Flavour: Wow...Complicated...good!

Flavour is close to the nose. Dried fruit, a slight pepper and malty aftertaste. The fruit lingers but does not last, the malt carries from the middle of your tongue all the way to the aftertaste. The front of your tongue is treated to a strong complex flavour, hits the middle and opens up full on the back.

Aftertaste: Wicked Bad.

Chug factor: Yes, very chuggable, but the flavours are lost, they need a moment to settle into your tongue, so chugging is a bit of a waste here.

Jake 8/10

Two Shoes 8/10

Red Racer – Pumpkin Ale

Yes, Pumkin Beer...Fantastic Pumpkin Beer.

Nose: Hmmm...This is fun!

Taste: It's like a pumpkin pie in your beer. The crust, the whip cream, all of it. A full slice of pumpkin pie, stuck right up inside your beer.

Drink this one slow, your mouth needs a moment to experience all this flavour.

We had a bit of an argument here...Is this something you want to give someone who hasn't really tried many different beers?? Or is this too much. So we ended up doing more science to it, and actually have a little table drawn up in this tattered notebook that goes something like this.

Strong Flavour Vs. Known Flavour

Strong Flavour – This is a strongly flavourful beer. We're not gonna lie to you, one of these is plenty. If you casually sip it expecting a standard boring fucking lager, your going to be shocked, and maybe turned right off getting a mouth full of pumpkin pie spice

Known Flavour – This beer tastes strongly of pie. Pumpkin pie. If you don't like pumpkin pie, jsut stop reading now, there's nothing here for you. If you do, you might be pleasantly surprised by this.

So in the end it's a judgement call and not really science at all.

Jake – 8/10 – Only shortcoming is that one is enough

Gary – 8/10 – Spectacular

Two Shoes – 8.5/10 – Hurrah!!

Mescal

So Jake went to Mexico and brought this back with him. We then did science to it (as we do to everything we drink lately) and have come up with the following conclusion.

Yup, that's a worm.

Jeezus fuck this shit in gnarly.

One shot, and 30 seconds later you are drunk. No fucking around, no feeling it come on. You feel a burn in your belly, and then you almost fall over.

Jake – 10/10 – Wow...Fuck...I'm drunk

Gary – Drunk/10 – I'm down the rabbit hole already

Two Shoes - ...Sprinkler/10 - ...???...(unintelligible noises)...???

Rouge Brewery – Morimoto Black Obi Soba

Hmmm...Rouge...

Bells and whistles bitches

Nose: Kind of reminds you of brandy. Also there's hops, and molasses.

Taste: Bitter. That's all we wrote...fuck I think we must have been pretty drunk here...The writing is pretty terrible too...and it looks like there might be blood on this bit of paper...

On a good note, it has a great, long lasting head.

Then there's a note about the shocker and a terribly drawn hand...

This is a much better drawing...

This is a thick one too, watch out for that. We think it's lovely, but if you've been following at all, I think you know we like our beers a little different.

Scores:

Cooter – 8/10 – I liked it. I enjoyed it. It's bad warm.

Burpie – 7/10 – Horrible warm...Other than that a 7. Great cold, but don't let it warm up

Jake – 10/10 – Fantastic hops, great body

Two Shoes – 7/10 – It's good...but kind of not good too...