A Howe Sound Double Header

That's sort of a beer joke right?? Head??

Ok, make your own jokes then...

Two beers tonight from the brewery in Howe Sound. They come in giant 1L bottles with the resealable flip lids. Like a Grolsh, only bigger. Very good for home brewing I hear.

First up is the 'Rail Ale Nut Brown' Which should really just be yelled, cause it sounds better that way.

Howe Sound has a thing for trains by the way...*shrugs*

The opening sniffs do in fact reveal a nutty aroma, with licorice root and earthiness. It sounds weird but it reminded me of the chocolate ice cream that comes in the neapolitan mix. Does that make sense??

It looks basically black, but if you hold it to the light you see a caramel colour. It looks like a thick beer, but once you taste it you find that it isn't at all.

The flavour does not give you much nuttiness, but there is a hint of it. Dark chocolate and licorice root round out the flavour nicety. Let it sit on your tongue to get the full flavour.

Or wait for it to get warm...

Not even kidding here, this gets better as it gets warm. The chocolate and licorice come out in force.

Not a creamy beer as expected, I know chocolate kind of says creamy, but it's not.

Our scores:

Jake 6/10 – Nothing new or remarkable, but it gets a bonus point for coming in a cool bottle

Burpie 6.5/10 – For the warm = better thing

Two Shoes 7/10 – Good stuff. Nothing uncool, lots of flavour.

We're calling this one a good bar beer if you talk more than you drink, and you let your beer get warm. Could be a good one to get mashed on, it's not too filling. Certainly not a 'sit around and enjoy the flavour' beer.

Second of the night is the 'Father Johns Winter Ale'

ok, so first off we have to say we are fucking stoked to try this. Here's why:

The label reads:

'A rich, malty seasonal ale brewed every fall for the winter months. Made with four different malts, nuggets & hallertau hops and a complex blend of ginger, nutmeg, vanilla, cinnamon, molasses, honey, and yellow sugar. Named for John Mitchell, Howe Sounds original brewer and one of the fathers of Canadian microbrewing. Enjoy!'

And you know what? That's the most accurate label I've ever seen on beer. All of that is in there. All of it.

First impressions went like this

'Oh Wow!'

'That smell is nuts'

'Explodes in your mouth'

'Oh Geez!...' (yes, we talk like this, shut up)

needless to say, we were pretty into this one...but then something happened...

The ginger, cinnamon, nutmeg and molasses dominate. The other flavours are still there though, hinting about your tongue, looking for ways to get their flavours across...and that's where the problem comes in...

As we continue our glasses, we are starting to feel a little assaulted. This is a heavy beer, and our bellies are feeling it, and our mouths are filled with this onslaught of flavours that are in no way getting along.

Going back to the label above, it is a very complex blend...but complex does not always mean good. You can make a peanut butter and jelly sammich complex by adding ketchup, mustard and pickles to it if you want to...It's complex, sure, but fuck.

Toward the end the aroma is less of a spiced beer and more of a Glade air freshener.

Scores:

Burpie 4/10 – * Falls down some stairs *

Two Shoes 5/10 – Glad I tried it. Unique. I will remember it. * Laughs at Burpie *

Jake – 5/10 – A reluctant 5...bonus for trying. Too complex...or too muddled in it's complexity. All over the place. Pick a couple of flavours, not all of them.

This is more of a beer to share with a large group of friends. Maybe a dessert beer in a very small glass. You don;t want a full pint, it's just too much. :Letting it get warm isn't much of an option either; it just gets syrupy and sort of melted candy-ish.

The First Aventure Draws to a Close

Next up we break into our 'Whistler Summer Mountain Mixer' which really should have been a warning sign...

First out of the box (an an attractive sturdy box it is) is the 'Altitude Honey Lager'

The label tells us this is brewed with natural honey. I don;t know if any of you care, but that's pretty cool.

Taste wise it's pretty damn good. You have a mellow hop, with a sweet lingering (natural) honey finish. The aftertaste is an extension of the lingering part, so it's pretty good too.

Chugability is very high, these beers did not last long.

We were a little devided on how to score this one. We haven't decided really on how to do this, and to be honest at this point in the night we were getting pleasantly shitfaced (see the Gonzo review for a hint as to why) We basically started up an 'Out of Ten' scale.

Scores for the Altitude Honey Lager

Jake – 8/10

Two Shoes – 7/10

What we do agree on is that this is very smooth and easy to get along with. A full flavour beer that won't scare you...

...

...

You piss-ant Bud drinkers

Oh look!!! What a cute purse!!

Second out of the pack is a Whistler Brewing Company 'Premium Export Lager'

A 'purdy' coloured beer that is very very clear. Flavours of yeast and toffee, with a caramel sweetness to it. Afterwards you are treated to a mellow sweet that transforms to a mellow bitter. There is a citrus note as well, not a direct one, more like that hint of citrus you get when you squeeze a lemon on a salad...if that makes sense...Another very smooth beer all around.

And yes, the reviews are getting shorter...this 'Adventure' series of posts took place in one night, and we were getting pretty drunk by this point. So the notebook started to fill up with doodles of cocks and I think there might have been a sketch of a teddy bear having sex with a beer bottle...I wonder where that went...

So anyway, we're on to the final beer of the night, and we totally saved the best for last!

And by best I mean the fucking loser beer of the night. Fuck this one actually made us sit up and wonder what time it was, if it was time to leave yet or not. Turned out it was only 10:30...so this beer pretty much sapped our will to drink...

...Not a good start Whistler Classic Pale Ale...not a good start at all...

One of us describes the nose of this beer as a sweet-sour smell. The other says it smells like feet.

Flavour wise it's a dry hop bitter with a light aftertaste.

Drinking from the bottle might be a better choice, as you can avoid a nose full of feet.

Jake gives it a 5/10 - “Nothing Wrong, Nothing Right...Nothing at all...”

Two Shoes Gives it a 4/10 - “Ewww...It smells like feet” “Chug it then” “Ewww...ok...”

We agree, nothing exceptional here. A very plain beer. The loser of the summer mixer, and not worth the price of a 6 pack.

Tune in soon for the continued adventures of drunken twits...I mean The Beer Nerds...whatever, most of you are probably reading this cause we shoved it onto your computers, so you know what I mean.

You're welcome to bring us your favourite beer too, we'll drink it and not call you in the morning. Unless it's good. Then we might try to make out with you.

Just sayin'...

The Adventure Continues

The second beer we crack is Flying Dog's 'Gonzo Imperial Porter'

The reason we said the Punk IPA wasn't that expensive, well that's because we bought this stuff too. Thsi is a pricey little box...but for those of you who are into math and whatnot, this is a 9.2% beer, so if all your looking for is mashed value, than maybe you can crunch some numbers to justify buying this.

Us, we think it tastes amazing and don't really need to justify buying it, we just do, cause it's rad.

Let me set the stage for you. Two guys wander into my sisters place with a a notebook in hand, and a bunch of 'strange' beers. We crack one each and pour it into a glass. We marvel at it's blackness. We hold it to the light and proclaim that nothing can penetrate it's inky depths. Even the head on it is a mocha colour.

We start smelling and sipping, argue over whether the dark chocolate mocha is more powerful than the black liquorice and molasses flavours. We notice we are being mocked and offer some to my non beer drinking sister.

She fucking loves it too.

Now we have three us fawning over this beer, we're reading the labels on the bottles, how this beer is inspired by the life and times of Hunter S. Thompson, which explains the fucked up label quite well actually...

Before you know it, we are finished and have to move on...

Our verdict. Fucking rad. Strong flavours again my scare the pansy Coors drinkers, but come on...they drink Coors...

Next we break into the Whistler Brewing Companies 'Summer Mountain Mixer' ...in the winter...ya, it was a leftover or something...shut up, we just bought some pretty pricey shit and needed to balance things out...and we needed more beers...

The Adventure Begins

Dearest internet,

Hi, how are you?? Did you have a good holiday?? What's that?? Your a cold unfeeling collection of opinions?? You cannot base a judgement without consulting your comment sections??

Well ok...fuck you then.

Hello. We are the Beer Nerds. We are nerds who like beer. You can tell we are nerds as we are on the internet. See how that works out?? Pretty neat and tidy package hey??

So, in the interest of not being boring, we are going to review beers in a way maybe you haven't seen before. Maybe you have, maybe you actually go out and drink with your friends. If so, why are you here?? ...whatever...thanks for boositng our numbers. One day we will be internet famous cause of you :D

Basically, here's the schtick. (I have no idea if that's how you spell what I'm trying to say...that noise people make in TV New York is what I'm after here) We drink, and carry around a note pad. We use a note pad as we cannot afford midgets (yet) and they're pretty easy to get a hold of.

We start the night with an IPA from Brew Dog. A punk IPA. Since we are both sort of punk rock (as in old enough to remember the eighties and hate them) This one gets bonus points for sounding cool.

A little note about IPA's. They are SUPPOSED to be beers that taste like fucking hops!! See, back in the day, when boats were slow as fuck and yet the easiest way to travel, England went and occupied India. For like a long god damn time. So long in fact that they began to miss the beers of home (Irish beers) So they started to ship them down to India. The boats, being powered by wind and/or slaves at the time, were slow as fuck, and the beer kept going bad before it got there...or so the sailors said...and somebody somewhere seemed to figure out that if you added a fuckton of hops to it, it lasted a fucklong longer. So they did, and it did, and they got good and drunk and stayed in India for way to long.

Poor India...

Anyway, back to our Punk IPA.

Not the cheapest beer, but not that pricey either. Popping the cap releases a hint of sourness in it's hopy aroma, which is not really all that flattering...but we poured it into glasses anyway cause colour was next on our list of observations

Which turned out to be totally worth the pour. Not only does the scent not really bother you at all, but the colour is an interesting straw shade of gold. Yes, I know, who gives a fuck...but there is a reason we are talking about this...it's foggy...or misty...I wouldn't say it's cloudy, cloudy is a term for wheat beers that means there is shit floating around in it...this is a very fine mist of something we can only assume is tastiness.

Leading into the actual taste of this tastiness, we do in fact find an IPA. A very dry hops. Something cool going on here is that a lot of IPA's (at least in our experience) have a citrus hint in the flavour, which the Punk IPA totally lacks. This is pure motherfucking hops. All the way into the aftertaste, which lasts long and hard on the back of your tongue.

Basically, this is the start of the night, where we are still feeling cool about different beers, and we're laying a verdict down for this one that says Bud drinkers, fuck off, this is too much for your delicate little mouths. Everyone else should try this.

Even this dinosaur knows better than to drink tasteless beer

At this point in he night we head to my sisters place to watch the UFC. So tune in tomorrow see what we think of the 'Gonzo Imperial Porter' Which we enjoy next in our little adventure of tastiniess.